i took this picture when i was riding down ashby. you see that billboard? that’s why…
i sit and watch the news, read blog posts, comments, etc. it’s the same damn thing. the same sickening verdict.
do you remember where you were when Trayvon Martin’s killer would be vindicated by the system? i cried my eyes out that night. i was 19. my grandma sat across from me in the house that i grew up in and said, “…this is the first one for you, the first real one. i remember that heartbreaking feeling.” i was disgusted and furious. earlier that day i went with one of my best friends to get her nose pierced. i wore all Black with a handwritten sign that i had made the night before with ‘Justice For Trayvon Benjamin Martin’ that I wore proudly across my chest with my black hoodie. the sky was gray like Trayvon’s hoodie that day. it drizzled a little. i was anxious. the streets were less crowded. it was a Saturday morning.
this just makes me think back to when i first glanced across Trayvon’s face on a computer screen in something that looked like an ad above a news story i was reading. i looked at the headline and clicked away. i kept seeing this child’s image for weeks until it blew up on the news. i was like ‘what the hell happened?’ that’s when i finally read up on it. i started listening to the 911 calls. i was mad as hell. i was scared as hell. i was ready to go tell some people how i really felt about it. then i had to remember that i was in high school in the middle of a room in the middle of a campus in Asheville, NC surrounded by white people. i would call my grandma & mama, just to talk it out.
next thing i know, i am sitting in front of the tv, watching the zimmerman trial everyday, taking notes, wondering why the prosecutors were giving this case away & why one of the defense attorneys would make a ‘knock-knock’ joke in his opening statement. i was wondering why news networks kept on playing those 911 tapes & why HLN showed Trayvon’s lifeless body so many times. Black bodies are the most disrespected ‘things’ on this planet. i still cannot get those images out of my head…
i’m protesting, marching, talking to people, sharing thoughts on social media, donating my little $3 i didn’t have. people in my hood wondering why i’m so concerned when ‘Mike’ just got killed by ‘Tay’ in an abandoned home or when all this shit is happening around us. they just don’t understand how deeply rooted all of this madness is…
i was drained after that trial. i could not sleep after seeing all of the evil being thrown at Trayvon’s name and the praise given to his killer. i cried. i was angry. i was throwing that at racists left & right, all the while being told that i need to go back to Africa or that i am a worthless nigger or that i am a terrorist or that i am black supremacist or that racism is not a real thing or that slavery should still exist or…. you get it right?
i could not even begin to wrap my head around how i could EVER understand how his mother & father feel/felt or his brothers or friends.
i am a stranger, & this hurt me to my core.
Sybrina Fulton is a soldier. i have the utmost respect for her. the poise that she has displayed is admirable. she is so beautiful to me. she deserves justice. she deserves as much peace as possible even though i know that it will be tough to find it in this world.
i want to thank her and all of the Black mothers who have experienced something similar. thank you for your strength & courage to defend your babies in the face of evil.
i still want justice for our brother, Trayvon.
i won’t stop fighting.